Quote Reflection: The Barbie Movie
“We have to always be extraordinary but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.”
The Barbie movie has been all the rage the past few weeks and while it comes across as an easy, not-to-be-taken-seriously, kind of movie I actually found it incredibly powerful. It was honestly like getting to breathe fresh air for a moment. It was like someone finally saw and was able to communicate for the first time what it is like. It is such a woman empowerment movie and a celebration of all things women are capable of.
The moment that made me pause and want to stand up and say “YES! Finally someone is saying it!” was the monologue that Gloria, America Ferrera’s, character gave. As women the expectations on us are insane. Who we are supposed to be, what we are supposed to look, what we are supposed to want it is all too much. As women we can’t just show up and do a job, we have to be smiling and pretty while we do it. It isn’t enough to be smart, you have to be just the right kind of smart. You also can’t look too good, you can’t look like you tried but you have to look like you tired, you have to be the right kind of pretty. We need to be this just to show up in the world. To get a job, go to the grocery store, get drinks, be happy and single (gasp it’s possible!), be athletic, to go for a walk…to live our lives we need to do so much.
There is a moment when Barbie realizes she is self-conscious for the first time and I felt that. We have no clue what our bodies look like until other people are looking at us. I have no real image around my body when I am alone but when I’m around other people or know other people will be looking at me I all of a sudden become incredibly aware of my body.
In another scene, the Ken’s are all playing the guitar singing to Barbie and I absolutely couldn’t stop laughing because it’s so true. So many women have been in that situation and it was so relieving to see. As I was looking for the exact line he says (I think it’s “I’ll play guitar at you”) I ended up finding a lot of videos other women took of this scene and all I could hear was laughing. We all get this moment. This isn’t about men and them in this moment, it is about the fact that as women we all get it. We get having a guy sing at you, we get having to carry our keys between our knuckles, we get not being able to walk alone at night, we get always having to check your surroundings to make sure no one is following you, we get never leaving a drink unattended, we get having to dress cute but not like your asking for it just to get dinner with friends, we get having to ignore the comments by male co-workers, we get it.
One other thing is this movie that was beautiful, and thank you to Greta Gerwig for not letting anyone talk her out of it, was the moment with the other woman at the end. There are actually 2 scenes with other women that are just as great but I want to highlight the end. Another thing as women that we are not supposed to do is age. We inject ourselves, buy all the makeup, and hide our age as long as we can. When we can’t hide it anymore no one looks at us, we are dismissed. Aging is beautiful. We are lucky if we can get to the point in our lives where we are old women. We have lived, experienced, loved, and that should be celebrated.
The full monologue:
It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.
